Game Night with the Enneagrams
Ed. Note: If you're not totally familar with the the nine "Enneagram Types", you miiiight want to "click it out" here before reading further. Trust us, you'll want the enhanced hilarity experience.
INT. ZELDA AND GARY’S HOUSE - NIGHT
ZELDA (2) is wearing an apron and is pinballing from kitchen to parlor. She puts finishing touches on decorations and fills up the beverage dispenser with sparkling water.
GARY (6) triple-checks the internal temperatures of the poultry-based finger foods. He hears a car pull into their driveway. 6ARY peeks through the window, straining for a view of the approaching stranger. He fiddles his ironic mustache.
2ELDA darts to the front door, where she warmly greets IAN (1). 1AN is wearing crisp, dark jeans and a button-down shirt. He smiles impossibly white teeth.
Should I take my shoes off?
Whatever’s most comfortable!
Could be tracking dirt in from the driveway. Safer to take them off.
TRACY (7) and her boyfriend DREW (3) arrive. 7RACY is wearing a bright yellow party dress and an enormous smile.
DR3W strides into the parlor wearing a blazer he changed into moments before, on account of hearing this was a dressier-than-usual board game party. He’s holding the game Balderdash and a stack of business cards that have an impressively long list of letters after his name.
I made a Catan cake for the par-TAY.
Awwww! Let me escort that into the kitchen for you.
Are there any potential allergens?
The next guest is BARB (8). Bluetooth earpiece affixed to ear. She knocks thoroughly on the door. 8ARB is 5’5” going on 6’5” and she’s holding Monopoly under her arm.
PETER (9) and STEVE (5) sort of materialize in the foyer. 5TEVE notices other guests and immediately regrets attending. 9ETER has an unkempt beard and a calming presence.
The final guest to arrive is ALISON (4). 4LISON glides in, her gaze directed at the ground, wearing a stunning outfit that other guests wouldn’t know to describe as casual or formal.
INT. ZELDA AND GARY’S HOUSE - LATER
2ELDA is brokering introductions and freshening up drinks.
DR3W is pitching his business to 5TEVE, who’s studying the spines of books on the shelf.
7RACY dances in place while she listens to 4LISON describe the aesthetics of the music that’s playing.
Do you understand what I’m saying?
7RACY moonwalks over to the iPod and turns up the volume.
4LISON stares longingly into her drink. She watches the ice cubes melt.
2ELDA clangs on her glass with a fork to get everyone’s attention.
Do people want to start playing a game?!
I don’t think we have any games
that will accommodate nine players.
I’m already looking up games
fitting that criteria.
I don’t have to play, if that makes things easier.
What about Pandemic?
The disease outbreak one?
I like Pandemic.
What about something more competitive?
Perhaps a game not as cutthroat as Monopoly.
8ARB snaps a pretzel rod in half.
Loving this brainstorm sesh. Keep
the ideas coming you guys.
INT. ZELDA AND GARY’S HOUSE - LATER.
1AN, 2ELDA, DR3W, and 8ARB are playing Settlers of Catan.
9ETER, 4LISON, and 7RACY are playing Apples to Apples.
5TEVE and 6ARY are playing Clue.
I’m using a Knight.
8ARB steals a card from DR3W.
That’s all right. I suppose my
winning streak has to end sometime.
8ARB places two roads and cuts 1AN off.
I’ve got the longest road now.
Are we applying the rules correctly?
8ARB, you’ve always been so good
at strategy, I’ve noticed.
DR3W counts his victory points out loud.
1AN neatens the crooked game pieces.
8ARB messes up the straightened game pieces when 1AN’s not looking.
(Looking at a pair of
Apples to Apples cards)
I’m picking this one ‘cause it’s hilARious.
Am I the only one who gets the
conceptual connection between the
I get it, 4LISON. I don’t think
we’re really keeping score, anyway.
5TEVE jots notes in the margin of his Clue game sheet.
6ARY shifts in his chair and clears his throat.
Are you absolutely sure you don’t
have the candlestick? I just want
(from across the room)
Are you even allowed to play Clue
with only two players?
There’s a two-player variation I
learned that we’re testing out.
I wasn’t even trying.
2ELDA should’ve laid another road
there at the end.
I was busy with the dishes.
I want more cake.